I couldn’t sleep last night and started to complain

Then I decided I would honor

The ramblings in my brain,

And I found solace

In this one true-blue refrain:

There must be

50 ways to cook a chicken.

The chefs who cook and write the cookbooks that we use —

Waters, Keller, Daniel Boulud, and Ina Garten, too —

They hold poultry

In the highest of esteem.

They know there’s

50 ways to cook a chicken.

50 ways to cook a chicken:

Just roast on a rack, Jack.

Fry in a pan, Stan.

fried chicken

Glaze it with soy, Roy.

Or braise it with cream.

Give it a truss, Gus.

Tuck pieces inside crust.

Baste it with ghee, Lee.

(Make sure it ran free.)

My favorite way to cook a chicken these cold days

Is from Melissa Clark, who has you cut a chicken up and lay

It on some croutons.

Roast it at 425.

It’s one of

50 ways to cook a chicken.

50 ways to cook a chicken:

Cut some white bread, Fred.

Brush with Dijon, Ron.

mustard bread

Spatchcock your cluck, Chuck,

and season it well.

Place on the bread, Ted.

Add garlic from 1 head.

mustard chicken dressed

Just roast 60 minutes.

You’ll love how you’re fed.

I may not make it through the long, long day ahead,

But I know we will have dinner

Without worrying my head.

I have a chicken.

Some bread and mustard, too.

And I know

50 ways to cook a chicken.

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